Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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