i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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