guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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