i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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