What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
