I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
