He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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