come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
