So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
