I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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