Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
