I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
