I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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