My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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