How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize