This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
