I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
