I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
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You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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