At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
