Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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