it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
