Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
