pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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