Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize