we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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