i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
