i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
