Come see our sink grown plant.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
