Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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