it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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