you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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