but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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