How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
