it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
