Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If that was your dad, he is hot
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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