you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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