She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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