We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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