You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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