Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
