why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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