I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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