You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
