My balls are so social today.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
