My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
COCAINE IS GR8
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
