Someone shit on the floor
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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