i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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