you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
