No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
