She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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