You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Congratulations! We have a period
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