Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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