Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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