Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish i was in the wii world.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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