I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
