Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
