Do you still have your period?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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