I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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