Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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