Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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