i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
