Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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