Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
