would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
