god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
