I need help removing her.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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