who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
