so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
