my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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