Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
