I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
