Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
