Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
